What I’m Naming My Baby.

Here at Archives of Our Lives—a blog for the masses—our purpose is you. If you’re reading this post, it was written for you.  If this website is marked in your bookmarks or favourites or sidebar or iPhone or anything else tech-y, you might as well consider it your very own website, because I am thinking solely of the readers as I type my posts.

Now I’m just repeating old stuff—you can read all about how much I value readers right here.

If you’re new to the blog, you might not be familiar with how things work.  Throughout the weeks and months of writing posts and reading people’s comments, I keep a running list of questions I’ve been asked.  The queries range anywhere from whether I like my mother-in-law, to what kind of camera I use, to what am I doing with my life, to why am I so lazy.

It can be interesting, and it can be boring.  I try to keep things lively, but I need to have questions to answer if I’m going to keep this Thursday routine going.  I still have a list of reserve questions that need to be answered, but I’m always anxious to hear more.  So please feel free to ask me anything—truly, anything—and I’ll get to your question sooner or later (sooner, if I find it interesting enough).

Today’s question comes from a reader I’ve never met before.

Q, from JoannaChristine:

Even though I don’t really know you, I am from Mesa too so I feel like we could be sisters. Anyway, if your birth control did in fact, fail you unexpectedly, what would you name your baby/ies? (Not including any character from any of the Twilight series.)

A, from Me:

Hello JoannaChristine!  Nice to “meet” you.  I like Mesa, and I like people from Mesa, so we’ll get along splendidly.

This is a good question, actually.  I do plan on having children someday, if I am able, and I have, indeed thought of what I will name my boys.  (I am convinced that this world needs more good men, and there should be willing mothers to raise a generation of good boys.  I’m volunteering.  That’s not to say I’ll be miserable if I only have girls [I once heard a tale of an expecting mother who said she wanted only a girl, and if her baby was a boy, she’d rather send it back than raise it.  I think that’s a very scary way to enter motherhood, myself, but to each her own…], nevertheless, I do think I would be able to raise a slew of outstanding boys.  I get along well with boys.)

Okay, enough with the tangent.  Yes, I have thought of a lot of cute boy names (and a few girl ones, too).  But there’s no way I will announce them on the internet for all the world to read—do you think me daft, JoannaChristine?  There are about a million of my peers who are in the motherly way right now, and all it takes is one person announcing their favourite names online, and BAM!  Every kid born that year has the same name, or a randomly-spelled variation of it.

So no.  I will not tell you.  [Also, I don’t know why you would think I would name my kids Jasper or Edward or Bella or Carlisle.  I have never really gone on about loving Twilight; in fact, though I enjoyed the books, I’ve only read each one a single time, and I still haven’t seen the movie.  So I’m not NEARLY as big a fan as, say, Busy Bee Lauren… She’s the one you need to worry about!]  But I will tell you the first initial of my first boy, which is only if my sister doesn’t beat me to the punch, because she’s also a huge fan of the name: P.

She’s already got one P, though.  I don’t know why she has to be so greedy with all the Ps.

Another thing I’ll tell you is what I won’t name my boys:

Reginald.  Sir George.  Master of the Universe.  Earnest Fitzgerald.  Fitzwilliam Darcy (though I highly admire the character).  Bo Diddly.  Pumba.  Dimitrius.  Hugoslavia.  Vladimar.  Quigley.  Gilligan.  Squidworth.  Or any initials—if I want my child to be Jon Junior, I will call him Jon Junior.  If I want his name to be Jayjay, I will name him Jayjay.  None of this J.J. stuff.  He can make up his own initials if he wants to be an author someday.

Did that answer your question?  No, not at all.  But maybe it gave you an insight into my life.  And when I do have a baby, I’ll announce it here first.

It will make my grandma mad, but she’ll love me anyway.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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19 Responses to What I’m Naming My Baby.

  1. bRAD says:

    I so agree with the initials thing. I hate when peole say, “we’re naming him bob jr, but we’ll call him BJ.” So stupid!

  2. HeatherPride says:

    I love my website….now where was I? Oh yes, P. P is a perfectly great name, I’m sure.

    Stop by my blog for an invitation!!

  3. Anonymous says:


    Well, you and PK are going to have to hustle because I know exactly what that P stands for, as you well know, and if I have another boy before you, I will most definitely name him that. We’ve had this conversation before; I had that picked out long ago. Good luck, but I think I’m going to beat you on this one. You’d better start thinking of some other names.

  4. linda rae says:

    Hurry Camille! Hurry !!!

  5. RatalieNose says:

    I agree with your mother- in- law. Times a wastin’ Camille.

  6. anonymous says:

    oooooooooo some incentive…

  7. haha. You are probably wise to keep your names to yourself. Especially because, even though we welcome readers, having people point out every single possible flaw to the name that you have already madly fallen in love with is quite painful. Even without pot shots, I re named Scarlett once or twice before she was born, she was going to be Bridget at first, but after about five months, I couldnt stand hearing the name anymore, haha. So who knows what time or hormones will do to you in the end :)

    good and entertaining post. I didnt read any of the twilight books, but enjoyed the movie.

  8. Oh heres a festive question for you:

    What one holiday tradition do you dislike, or really think that the world could do without? This could be anything from fruit cakes to eggnog, to white elephant gift exchanges, to children sitting on strangers dressed as Santa’s laps. I am curious to know…

  9. Good job not announcing the name! Not only do you get people stealing the name but you get “Really?! You are going to name him THAT?! I once knew a drug dealing, homosexual, albino who had that same name.”

  10. Holly Decker says:

    i have to admit i was afraid my kids future name would appear on your ‘what i know for sure i WONT name my kid’ list… so i braced myself.
    thank goodness it wasnt :)
    and ps… i didnt know you read all the twilights… and you are so very right, now that i think about it… we SHOULD be worried what Lauren will name her children.

  11. TOM says:

    So, a P name. I sure hope that stands for Paxton, that’s a cool name

  12. niki says:

    i support your stinginess with your baby names. i’m sorta that way too. well, i’ve learned the hard way to be that way. i’m actually in competition with my uncle for a boy name as well. i better beat him. not only is it a great name, but it is a family name. but i surely have more claim to it than he does. cross your fingers for me as i will for you!

  13. Lauren says:

    No need to worry. I happen to not like the names of Jasper, Emmett and Edward…AND JACOB. Plus, do you guys really think I am that lame-o? Psh. Here is a list of the names Ted and I have decided on. And when I say “we” I mean “I” and he just agreed.



    The End.

  14. anonymous says:

    Lauren, your boy names stink. Sorry. The girl names are all right if you like prima donnas.

  15. I think it is great that you aren’t sharing your baby name choices! That is what we did and our families HATED us for it…but at least we didn’t get the comments (good or bad) and now it is too late for them to say anything! And as a Mom of a little Paige, I think P names are great!!

  16. anonymous says:

    awh anon be nice it’s not cool to diss other peoples’ futures kids’ names! That is why camille was smart not to share:) i do think sophie is an adorable name

  17. Lauren says:

    thank you anon right above me…but the one dissing my names, is really not cool.

  18. Thais says:

    Oh it’s so stinking true. I announced my choices and now two “friends” stole it! My first choice boy and girl name are now gone. I’ve so learned my lesson!

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