When a Man Loves [but Doesn’t Trust] a Woman

The number one cause of strife within my marriage (besides that irksome Taylor Swift) is when Poor Kyle doesn’t believe me.

I married a very doubtful man. He doubts everything: manufacturers’ promises, the power of exercise, hybrid cars, everything. But especially me.

Case in point:

Back when Poor Kyle and I were discussing whether or not to purchase a new Jetta, it came to our knowledge that a friend of Poor Kyle’s had the kind of car we were looking for and had been considering selling it. I suggested maybe we should ask him first if he wanted to sell it to us before we started looking online or at dealerships, because my beloved Grandpappy always used to say the best deals are closest to home, but NO. PK shut me down instantly:

PK: No, that would be weird.

Me: Why? He might give us a deal.

PK: You can’t get deals from friends. It’s a bad idea.

Me: Okay.

Later, though, we went to see our favourite salesman at our favourite dealership (we like to dream about buying new cars, and incidentally have our very own car salesman who probably hates us because we never buy cars from him, but whatever. Brad rocks.), incidentally the same man who had sold Poor Kyle’s friend the car he is thinking about selling, and watch what happened…

Brad our Volkswagen BFF: Hey, did you think about asking so-and-so about his car? I heard he was looking to sell it.

PK: Really? Hmmm…that’s a good idea. Maybe we will.

Me: (Sputtering) But…but…me…my idea…humph.

Another time, we were looking into buying some acreage here in Mayberry so we could build our dream house before the age of 30 (don’t worry, that idea fell through), and I suggested to Poor Kyle that we make our offer REALLY low, because it never hurts to ask, and once again, I was shot down.

PK: No, we don’t want to offend them.

Me: What do we care if they’re offended? It’s business. At worst, they’ll say “no,” which, you’re right, they probably will. But they COULD say yes, and we never know unless we try…

PK: No.

Me: Okay.

(I tend to give up in the face of confrontation. I’m a quitter. Plus I hate marital dischord. So I just let it fester in my soul until one day Poor Kyle and I can’t decide where to eat for dinner and it all explodes: WHY DO YOU CARE WHERE I WANT TO EAT TONIGHT? YOU NEVER VALUE MY OPINIONS ANYWAY! IT’S A MIRACLE YOU EVEN BELIEVED ME WHEN I SAID I WOULD MARRY YOU! WHICH, COME TO THINK OF IT… No, just kidding.)

Later, though, we were talking to Poor Kyle’s dad about our idea to buy some acreage, and watch what happened…

PK: …so yeah, we’re really excited about it.

PK’s Dad: Okay, well…why don’t you offer X amount (even LOWER than what I had suggested as a low price) and see what happens.

PK: Really? You think? I don’t want to offend anyone.

PK’S Dad: Offend them? What do you care about their feelings? You don’t know them! It’s business!

PK: Yeah, you’re right. Okay, we will give them that insanely low offer. Thanks, Dad, for all your GOOD ADVICE.

Me: (Sputtering) But…but…me…my idea…humph.

I’m not sure if it’s because I’m a woman, or because I’m so much younger than my husband, or because he flat-out thinks of me as a total and utter dodo bird, but for whatever reason, he doesn’t ever trust my ideas, even when they are awesome, which is always.

Someday he’ll see the light.

Maybe not today, and maybe not before it’s too late, but the light will be seen.

Mark my well-chosen words.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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13 Responses to When a Man Loves [but Doesn’t Trust] a Woman

  1. Alaina says:

    Oh man, that would bug me, too! But then again, I’m a big arguer, so I’d throw it back in his face. Over and over again until he never forgot :-)

  2. Lauren W says:

    Oh my word… I know EXACTLY what you mean! My husband does the same thing to me. It drives me batty!

  3. Chloe says:

    haha I like this post!! :)
    MJ does the same. And I always say “Okay”, just like you, so that we don’t argue. But then, his parents or friends say the same thing I said and he trusts them… At least that means I was right and I feel proud of my ideas. :)

  4. Tisha says:

    Apparently its a husband thing. Mine is exactly the same. It so ridiculous!

  5. One day, he’ll realize you’ve been right all along!

  6. Maple says:

    I think they do it because it’s our idea re-enforced. They don’t mean to diss us, but when we suggest it they’re not sure. They shoot holes in it. But when some other random person suggests the same, it’s backing OUR first idea…they don’t acknowledge it with others though, which I think is the thing that drives us nuts!
    Now, I jump in and do a, “See? That’s what I told him” or somewhat. Gaz is pretty good about it to begin with, though.

  7. niki says:

    lol! what it is with husbands sometimes??

    loved this, “…even when they are awesome, which is always.” you are always awesome camille! so sad we didn’t get to hang out before i left. maybe you should drive through texas on your way back;)

  8. Niki already stole my favorite line. I was seriously laughing out loud. You are hilarious and PK should listen to you.

  9. anna says:

    These conversations have absolutely nothing to do with you, your gender or your age, but everything to do with the fact that your husband is a MAN. Jason loves to shoot down my ideas, but shortly thereafter, he always has incredible ideas… my ideas. They just weren’t good enough unless they were his ideas. I always smile and nod and say, “What a great idea, I wish I would have thought of that” (of course, never do I use a sarcastic tone).

  10. HeatherPride says:

    Ummm, good luck with that. I married a doubter too! I pretty much gave up on mutual planning!

  11. I have resorted to strategically making him think he came up with my ideas. I find this is the way to approach most men. True story.

  12. MJ says:

    Hi! I like your blog! Chloe speaks very highly of you.

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