The Anger Games

by Camille Posted on January 4, 2010

This holiday season has passed just a bit too quickly for me. I don’t feel refreshed and rejuvenated and ready for another semester; instead, I feel downtrodden and slightly more exhausted than when I left Canada a week ago. But isn’t that what Christmas vacation is all about? Stress? The real time for relaxation is summer; always has been.

I have a few more goals I need to accomplish before this break is allowed to be over. Mainly those goals consist of reading books that are not required literature for my degree in English. So far I have read two mindless sappy romance novels, one book on grammar, and one book I actually liked: The Hunger Games.

the hunger gamesImage from here.

I had heard a little bit about this book over the past year, but not enough to convince me to read it any time soon. However, it just so happened to stumble across my path while I was being sick with the Swine Flu in the middle of the desert, and so, with nothing else to do besides wallow in my own pitiful existence, I picked up the book and started reading.

It was good. Real good.

But (and I’m sorry to admit this), despite the book being very wonderful to read, I reached the unfortunate point I always reach when I read a really good book: jealousy. I grew to hate the book; I hated the delicious words that I devoured with fervor—I hated it because somebody else thought to write it before me.

It always happens this way. If Jane Austen were alive today and among my circle of friends (well, I don’t have enough friends to complete an entire circle—more like a line segment of friends, if my Geometry serves me well), I am pretty sure I would claw her eyes out with sheer rage for thinking of Darcy and Willoughby and Emma and Elizabeth before I could. I’m catty like that. J. K. Rowling? C. S. Lewis? Roald Dahl? Lemme at ’em! Rawr!

That’s no way to live a life, I know. Not being able to enjoy the amazing works of art that people have created simply because of my anxiety that I will never be able to create something equally amazing? That’s petty. And foolish. But it’s me.

It is for this very reason that I have procrastinated the starting of the second book in the series. I just know that it’s going to be better than the first, and I don’t think I can handle that kind of intense jealousy in my life right now. I have enough to deal with trying to keep the Happiest Swine Flu on Earth at bay—I don’t need another author to hate right now, when I need to be preserving all my energy for staying alive.

Catching FireMy only consolation is that when I write my own book, I will have a way better cover than this series has. Judging by the cover alone, I am sure I would have never read it if I hadn’t practically been forced to do so.

So, any votes? Should I just suck it up and start book two? Or forget about it and put The Hunger Games behind me for good?

Posted in Book Reports, failures | Tagged , | 15 Comments

Back in the saddle again.

by Camille Posted on January 4, 2010

Well it’s 2010, and my new year’s resolution is to stop neglecting my blog.

Lucky you.

Seriously, though, it would be absurd to try and catch up on everything that has happened since I last wrote what I would consider a “real” blog post.  It has been so long, I sort of don’t even know how to start back again. It feels like what I imagine being separated from my husband would feel like, and we’ve just decided to try and work things out, and I don’t really know how to begin, but I’m determined to try. For the children, you know. I’m a martyr like that.

So what you missed—or rather, what I failed to report—is this:

1. I finished finals.

finals

It wasn’t an easy task, I can tell you that much. Look how bad I looked on the last day of my last exam.

Finally it was done, though, and that was all that counted.  Except for grades, of course: I got an A- in one class, an A+ in another class, and have yet to receive the grade for my third class because didn’t you know? My last final was on the twenty-damn-second of December. As in, three days before Christmas. As in, just in time to write the exam and then drive straight to Arizona and make it here just in time for Christmas Eve.

2. My dear friend Chelsie came to visit me in Canada. I would show you a picture of all the notable things we did like yoga and ice skate and sushi, but we didn’t do any of those things, and instead forfeited them all to spend hours watching seasons one and two of Gossip Girl™ in my basement.  It was pure heaven and I can’t wait until we can do it again.

3. Then we—Poor Kyle, Chelsie, and I—drove down to Arizona for the holidays. The drive down looked a lot like this:

IMG_0025We were exhausted from our hard work watching all that smutty television.

4. Then my parents, Poor Kyle, and I all flew to Texas on Christmas morning and flew back to Arizona on Christmas evening. It was fun. Exhausting, but fun.

grandpaWe saw my Texas relatives while we were there. My Texas relatives are awesome.  Here’s my Grandpa.

5. Two days later, my family all loaded up into two vehicles and boogied over to California to visit Mickey and company. The first day, December 27th, Disneyland was insanely crowded and I swore I would kill myself before I ever went back to that place. The second day was much more calm. We all had a blast, especially my awesome little nephew who had massive meltdowns every time he had to get off the rides. He didn’t much like the idea of sharing with the other kids.

disney tram

I meant it when I said the kid was awesome. See that awesome 70s-inspired coat? I bought it for him for Christmas. He hates to take it off. Awesome.

bug's life

Poor Kyle and I rode the kiddie rides at California Adventure with fervor.

AliceinwonderlandDitto my sister and me.

squashed teacupsDitto my whole family. Can you believe we squished all of us into one teacup? It was unprecedented, and also awesome.

6. After Disneyland, we headed to the sand dunes for four days of miserable camping in a tin-foil trailer in the midst of a vast arid desert where every breath I took coated my lungs with yet another fine layer of dust. It was pretty bad, and was made worse by the fact that I think I caught the Swine Flu from those snot-nosed kids at Disneyland. Needless to say, I didn’t take any photos of this phase of my life. We were there over New Years’ Eve, and I was in bed by eight p.m. Pathetic.

Lastly, and most importantly…

7. I ate a Choco Taco for the first time in years. It was delicious.

chacotaco

Anyway, I’m home now, and feeling still under the weather, but I’m hoping to be healed in time to enjoy the remainder of my holiday.

And how have you been? Please, fill me in on anything new in your lives. I feel so out of touch with the blogging world, and I want to repent.

Posted in blogger finger, It's All Good, looking back | 12 Comments

And to All a Good Night.

by Camille Posted on December 25, 2009

Well, the day has finally come.

I don’t know if it is because of school, or not buying presents for my family, or not volunteering as Santa’s Little Helper, or not having 99.9 KEZ radio station’s continuous Christmas music to listen to, but for whatever reason (and probably all of the above), I absolutely do not feel like it is Christmas.  It seems like just another day to me.

Nevertheless, my humbuggity attitude should not mean you are abandoned on Christmas day. I know most bloggers don’t post on Christmas, but I usually find myself with a few hours of down time after all the hubbub is through, and wishing my Google Reader™ was not so empty. If you do happen to read this today, please know that I love and appreciate you—all of you, my dear readers.

I have watched in wonder as my stats have remained fairly consistent over the past few weeks, despite my neglect of all y’all.  I know I have not treated you right, but I appreciate you sticking with me as I muddled my way through the end of this semester. I consider each and every one of you my friend, and I look forward to another year of sharing my life with you. If you are alone today and you want to be alone, then good for you. If you are alone today and you wish you weren’t, I hope at least this post makes you feel a little less lonely. Nobody should feel alone if they don’t want to be.

And now, enough with the mushiness.  I have a holiday to grumble about.

Merry Freaking ChristmasMerry freaking Christmas. I’m glad it’s finally here, so that it can finally be over.

—Cheers,

Camille (and Poor Kyle, by default)

Posted in It's All Good | 12 Comments

Burn or Freeze There, Either Way I’ll Be in Hell.

by Camille Posted on December 23, 2009

Heavens to Betsy, it’s Christmas Eve.

In honour of the holiday, feel free to read my politically incorrect post about winter in Canada over here at I Heart Monster.

You know, with all the free time you have. Today.

On Christmas Eve.

Eff.

Where did the time even go?

Posted in Canada, guest posts | 7 Comments

Just So You Know…

by Camille Posted on December 20, 2009

I am alive and I have an iPhone.

To be alive is a wonderful thing, and I’m sure you are surprised to hear it since I’ve been MIA for the last ten days. Sorry about that.

The iPhone bit came as a huge shock to me, and I promise I will tell you all about it when I am not busy cramming for my last (last! ) final of the semester, feverishly practicing the piano for the church Christmas program, and spending hours on end with a friend (A FRIEND, WILL WONDERS NEVER CEASE!) watching seasons one and two of Gossip Girl, which I am not even ashamed to admit {what is a guilty pleasure called if one doesn’t feel the slightest iota of guilt while pursuing it?}.

You know you love me.

xo xo,

…never mind.

Posted in blogger finger | 10 Comments

The Ten Things Post

by Camille Posted on December 9, 2009

I was given an award by loyal reader Molly a few days ago.  {Molly is pretty awesome. She decided she likes my blog so much that she wanted to promote it, and because I am a very bad blogger and have not yet taken it upon myself to design an AOoL button, she just stole an image from me and made her own, with a link and everything, that sends her readers straight to my blog. Awesome? Yes.  You can see it here on the right sidebar a few images down. It’s lovely.}

Anyway, it is not often that I remember to fulfill the duties of these blog tag things, so I thought I better do it straightaway, while it is still fresh in my mind:

Ten Random But True (which is redundant because everything, and I do mean every thing, I write on this blog is 100% truth) Things About Me You Might Not Have Known:

1. As of May 2009, I get my nether-region hair waxed (Brazilian-style) on a regular basis. It’s nice. Highly recommend it.

2. I know what it takes to make friends at school, but I have become so disillusioned with friends in general that I have resolved to a) keep the ones I have, but b) make no new ones, ever. So I go for days without speaking to anyone in any of my classes, not even the ones who talk to me first—I just look at them blankly, pretending I don’t speak English. I am an international student, after all. It’s peaceful. Drama-free. Best decision I ever made.

3. Even though I keep losing the writing contests I enter, I have not given up. I’m entering another one tomorrow (this one has a cash prize and if I win, I have dedicated myself to spending part of it on my readers, so cross your little fingies).

4. I feel too young to have a life insurance policy, and I secretly suspect, in one half of a percentage point of the farthest recesses of my mind, that Poor Kyle is just biding his time until he can dispose of me quietly and cash in on the goods. It’s curtains for me.

5. Even though I have no hope of ever becoming a child star now that I’m well into my twenties, I still haven’t lost the dream to someday be a famous movie star.  Maybe in my old age. Grannies need to be portrayed on the big screen, too. I’ll be a great granny figure. That is, if the whole YouTube™ career doesn’t work out.

6. I, with the help of Google, discovered a cure for mild dandruff, and it doesn’t even involve using shampoo. Camille=green. Eco power, baby.

7. Someday, maybe even within the next year, I will be dying a portion of my hair pink. It was a goal of mine in high school, and, even though I’ve sort of moved on, I wrote it on my lifetime to-do list, and therefore it must be done. I say, the sooner, the better. Get it over with.

8. I don’t know how to wear lingerie. I tried buying some for a special occasion recently, got it home, and realised I had no idea what the garter straps were supposed to…well, strap.  Naturally, I turned to Google™ to find the solution, and YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW WELL THAT WORKED OUT FOR ME, (ahem),  P-to-the-ORNOGRAPHY. I suffer from repressed sexuality due to growing up in a bubble and also having the traditional Mormon fear of God put into me about FORNICATION, to the point of even thinking “sex” was a dirty word until the age of seventeen. I am also extremely embarrassed to purchase my own bras, even the not-sexy kinds. Like I said: repressed. That’s why my regular Brazilians are so noteworthy—it’s an enormous step for me.

9. I used to wish I had been born an English heiress with a title; instead, I was born into a lower-middle class suburban American family. And that has made all the difference. No, really. Unanswered prayers and all that jazz—being a wealthy duchess would have ruined me. Though I still dig all things British, and someday hope to drag my husband there for an amazing summer holiday.

DDP

10. I use a prize system based on DDP to get work done. As soon as I finish this post, there will be a chilled-to-perfection can of the good stuff waiting for me to make love to it, figuratively speaking, of course. I might even don the sexy bra (I only own one) for the occasion. Hubba.

Posted in ask me anything, It's All Good, like-it-link-it, looking back, oh brother what next, thisandthat, what I'm about | 23 Comments

There is a God.

by Camille Posted on December 7, 2009

Dear Friends,

I usually do not take this blog in a very religionry direction because, while I like to spark controversy as much as Perez Hilton, I do prefer to keep God out of the debate. Dis me as you will, I’ve got thick skin, but leave My Main Man out of it—that’s what I say, yo. Not that God doesn’t have thick skin—as far as skin goes, I’d bet He’s got the most heavenly thickness imaginable, on account of everyone cursing Him on such a regular basis—but I just don’t like to hear it.  Make sense?

Today, however, I must break my rule. As you know, when good things happen to me, I share them with my blog readers.  That’s my motto.  That’s the Archives of Our Lives promise.  That’s what I do.  So I could not let this heavenly experience pass without exclaiming from the rooftops of this website that GOD LIVES! I have faith, and you can, too. Let me tell you what happened:

On Friday, we Mayberrians got a blizzard warning, and did it ever blizzard. In my four years of knowing Mayberry, I have never seen it snow so much. And I’ve seen a lot of snow. Suffice it to say, this was nasty. And it didn’t end on Friday, either.  It blizzarded on through the night and well into the day on Saturday.  Poor Kyle and I didn’t leave the house except for once, and that was a bad idea. The whole town was pretty much snowed in. We decided to spend Saturday night at home bundled up with our laptops, and at one point during the evening, I speculated to Poor Kyle, “Hey, what if they cancel church tomorrow because of the snow?”

He laughed at me and said, “Wishful thinking, my dear. I’ve never seen them cancel church on account of snow before.”

I was disappointed—I thought, “I am not gonna want to go out in this and I drive a truck—how are the little old widow ladies gonna make it?” But I knew Poor Kyle was probably right; he’s lived in Mayberry for nearly thirty years, and if he’d never seen it happen, I wouldn’t either.

But just to be sure, I called my mother-in-law: “Hey,” I began, “you don’t think there’s any way they’ll cancel church tomorrow, do you?”

“Ha!” she bellowed, “You wish!”

Yeah. It was so not happening.

Still, I couldn’t quite get the idea out of my head. Don’t get me wrong—I love church. I really do. When I’m out of town or sick and miss a week of it, I notice the effect of its absence during the following week. But my duties at church deem that I am up and ready by 10:00 a.m. so I can be at church choir at 11:00 a.m. where I stay until 12:30 p.m. and then head directly to church at 12:35 p.m. where I stay until 4:00 p.m. and sometimes longer. It’s just a long day, you see, and after playing the piano and organ for so many hours, my left shoulder is always in intense pain (I think it’s chronic), and some mornings, I’m not gonna lie, I wish I could just stay in bed. For church to be cancelled on account of snow just…sounded amazing this week.  I was already exhausted from the second to last week of classes, and mounting stress for final papers and final exams, and plus it was cold and I just didn’t want to leave my house.

But I was told it was impossible for church to be canceled—it never happens.  And I couldn’t just call in sick, because they need an organist; and while I know there are many people in my congregation who could cover for me, they were all just as snowed in as I was. I resigned myself to my fate, but I never lost the dream…

…so imagine my delight, then, when I got a phone call on Saturday night notifying me that church was cancelled the next day on account of nobody being able to leave their homes!

I was pretty much giddy.

I called everyone I knew with the exciting news, but it turned out that everyone already knew, which is just my fate—I’m always the last to know.

But in reality, I was the first to know because it was my great faith that convinced God to step in and cancel church. My husband and his mother, they were doubters all along. But me? I held strong in my conviction through the evening, and God is a gentle, caring God, and he heard my plea (even if I never actually plead—he heard the desires of my heart to sleep in the next morning) and I was blessed!

My friends, I am here to testify that God exists. Does it seem a bit contradictory that a day of canceled worship services actually lead to the strengthening of my belief in God, a faith-promoting experience? Yes, it does seem rather odd. But God moves in mysterious ways. I could not move a mountain with all the strength in my being’s every fiber, but if God wanted me to…I totally could.

Amen.

p.s. Just so you believe me…

"Bitterly Cold"

…and…

Posted in Canada, It's All Good, mondays suck, Overall Good Things, what I'm about | Tagged , | 27 Comments