Poor Kyle and I have a guilty pleasure we started long before we ever got married—no, not that kind of guilty pleasure! Silly readers. No, our guilty pleasure is…we like to watch My Name is Earl on a regular basis. Don’t you judge us.
Image from here.
Incidentally, the phrase “don’t you judge me” (spoken with a lilting southern drawl), originated from the selfsame hit TV series (okay, calling it a “hit” might be a stretch, but still). It was from the episode when Joy’s mother embezzled her inheritance from the water bed store…come to think of it, do you really care which episode it came from? Doubtful. Just take my word for it.
At any rate, Poor Kyle and I have adopted the phrase “don’t you judge me” into our everyday lives. If he decides to spend a good chunk of his monthly allowance (we both have them—don’t you judge us!) on chocolate bars from the local town watering hole, he boldly looks me in the eye and says, “Don’t you judge me!” And I don’t. If I feel too exhausted to come up with a solid blog post on any given night, and decide to sleep on it and post in the morning, I announce it to Poor Kyle with the accompanying demand that he not judge me. It’s become a common term in our house.
Now. If only I really lived by the sentiment, I’d be a much better person.
Unfortunately, I can be the most incredibly judgmental person in the world sometimes. I probably should have majored in judicial law, that’s how good I am at judging people on a regular basis. Does that hurt your feelings, to know that I have likely judged you at some point in my life? (Well, not you personally—I would never judge my own readers; just everyone else in the world. {Mostly the idiots, though. [See, there I go again.]})
It’s true though. I’m not going to lie to you, because I don’t believe in lying to my friends and readers. I believe in the truth. And the truth is, I have been very crotchety lately, judging people for decisions they may or may not make. I have found myself judging people for money they spend, for money they might not be making, for major decisions they make or fail to make…it feels impossible to stop.
But guess what? It’s not impossible—it’s easy. Starting today, I decided to try 100% harder than ever before to stop judging people. Know what my trick is?
I look at my own life. Who am I? Who am I to judge? I’ll tell you who I am…
I am the girl who graduated high school in 2004 and still doesn’t have a college degree despite the fact that I really do want one.
I am the girl who entered marriage with no money saved, no career, and a fair bit of debt.
I am the girl who, at one point in life, could barely afford gas for her car, but somehow scrounged enough for a carne asada burrito many days per week.
I am the girl who hates to shower and hasn’t fixed her hair in weeks.
I am the girl who doesn’t put much effort into her appearance—how dare I judge someone who does?
I am the girl who tries to be smart, and scorns people for their own silly errors, but the truth is that I have made many myself. I am pretty much always making mistakes. I’m flawed. I’m not fishing for compliments—I know I can do good things, too. I know I’m a fine person. But I also know I’m flawed.
Within me, there exists both good and bad. Probably just like you; just like everyone else in the world. I am a little of both. That’s who I am.
So who am I? I’m nobody to judge or be judged. That’s who.
I’m just me. Do you like my swimsuit? Do you hate it? Do you judge me for not having a nicer one? Do you judge me for sporting boardshorts? The old me would have done so. But no more.
I don’t judge anymore. Don’t you feel better about being my friend now? (Ha! It’s more probable that I actually alienated any potential friends I may have had before my confession. Ho-hum, life is hard.)
…which would come in so handy for snorkeling off the coast of our own private beach…
