Grounds for Divorce?

If Poor Kyle and I ever divorce, it will be caused by one of two things:

PK Teacups

1.  The fact that he shattered my dreams of Wedded Disneyland Bliss by refusing to ride Splash Mountain with me (who even does that?) and cuddling up with another girl the entire day, and I never payed for the therapy that would be necessary to overcome my grief of such a loss, or, more probably…

2.  The fact that I never learned how to keep quiet about his poor choice in music.

It’s not just that he likes country.  Really, it’s not the genre.  There are a lot of country musicians who are actually really amazing (Keith Urban, Kenny Chesney’s island songs…heck, even Rascal Flatts and Big & Rich are pretty good).  But for every one good country song, there are ten equally atrocious train wreck, sorry-excuses-for-music songs.

In my life, I need to be surrounded by music that says something…music that means something.  A pretty good indication of whether I will like a song is whether or not it will change my life.  It’s true.  I don’t waste my time listening to music unless it will change my life.  I stopped listening to local Canadian radio stations for this very reason—they could not offer me music beyond “Umbrella, brella, brella…” and “They call me Lisa!  They call me Jane!  That’s not my name! (clap clap clap clap) That’s not my name!” {What, you think I would validate those sorry excuses for music by actually learning and using their titles?  Ha!}  Now, I either listen to CBC talk radio or the French station; at least those help me get a little smarter, as opposed to the brain-deadening I was undergoing before.

And that is the sole reason I struggle with Poor Kyle’s music choices—not because of the twang, not because of the instrumental, not even because of the high incidence of cowboy paraphernalia gracing so much of his album art—but the lyrics.

Brad Paisley: “I would have to choose; If I hit that fishin’ hole today, she’d be packin’ all her things and she’d be gone by noon… Well I’m gonna miss her when I get home…”

Trace Adkins: “Honky tonk badonkadonk?”  What’s a badonkadonk?

But of all the annoying country music singers, there is one who I despise more than the rest: One Singer to Kill Them All.  And that person is…

TaylorSwift-01-bigTaylor Swift.  Image from here.

I realise I am putting myself in great peril by announcing my unpopular feelings toward Taylor Swift in front of the whole world.  However, this blog would not be my blog if I withheld from you, dear readers.  I always blog about subjects I feel passionately toward, and this is no different; I am passionate in my distaste for Taylor Swift’s lyrics.

Now.  Before I continue, I would like to note that she seems like a very nice person.  She is lovely, for sure, and I’ve heard that she is very genuinely sweet.  That’s fine.  I’m not saying I hate her as a human being, or even as a singer—I actually think she has a striking voice.  But her lyrics—her teeny-bopper-stereotypical-cliched-redundant-female-oppressing lyrics—make me want to claw my eardrums out with splintery toothpicks, if only to make them stop bouncing around in my brain.

See, I don’t think Taylor Swift gives herself enough credit.  Her songs portray her as a girl whose entire sense of being is wrapped up in whether or not a boy likes her at any given moment.  And that is a quality I cannot respect in a woman.

Here is a sample of some of her arguably most annoying lyrics:

…That I can’t even see anyone when he’s with me… [Why not, is his brilliance so bright it has blinded you?  That’s a pity.]

…He’s the song in the car I keep singing, don’t know why I do…  [Trust me—I’m wondering the same thing.  If you don’t know why you keep singing, maybe you should stop.]

…Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can’t breathe?…  [Not being able to breathe because of Drew?  I could see being breathless at the sight of the Grand Canyon, or God, but a pimply-faced teenage boy in your homeroom class who, for the record, doesn’t even know you exist?  That’s just silly.]

…Romeo, save me, I’ve been feeling so alone, I keep waiting for you but you never come…  [That’s because he never will.  Save yourself.]

…But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts
She’s Cheer Captain and I’m on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you’re looking for has been here the whole time… [But will you really want to be with him after he’s ignored you all this time?]

It disgusts me, and it’s not just her lyrics, either—it’s the central theme in all her videos, too.  In the music video for her song “White Horse,” for example, she apologises to her cheating boyfriend for not being able to forgive him.  And then she spends three-quarters of the movie sitting on the floor weeping about it.

White Horse Image from here.

That was the last straw for me.

YOU’RE SORRY?  He’s the bastard who cheated on you; you have nothing to be sorry for!  Moreover, why are you sitting there SOBBING about it?  He’s obviously a jerk, and you have so much going for you!  You do not need him.  I repeat: YOU do NOT NEED HIM to be happy.

That’s the thing about Taylor Swift’s songs—they’re all about boys.  Nice boys, mean boys, dream boys, imaginary boys.  It’s a bit excessive.  Every time one of her songs comes on the satellite radio in Poor Kyle’s truck, I listen to the words and invariably come to the same conclusion: “This girl needs to learn who SHE is, aside from the influence of boys.”  For example: she talks about princesses in a lot of her songs, which is fine.  If she wants to be a princess (I can’t blame her), by all means, be a princess—but why does she talk about being a princess only in relation to the handsome young princes who she hopes will come rescue her and make all her dreams come true?  Doesn’t she know that she should make her OWN dreams come true?  That she has the power to do that all by herself?  Hasn’t anybody ever told her that?

No, obviously not.  Because according to Taylor swift, who sings, “Well, I’m only me when I’m with you,” she is only herself when she is with a boy.

I firmly believe that girls need to know who they are, apart from boys.  I know about being boy-crazy; I know about being a teenage girl (it wasn’t long ago I was one) who wishes that someone would just come along and hold my hand and make me happy.  I know that—I struggled with that from the age of twelve or thirteen to the time I was sixteen.  Luckily for me, I was able to eventually break free from those ridiculous notions of “Gee, if only I had a boyfriend, I would be happy,” and learned to think, “I am happy to be me, and any guy would be lucky to date me.”

It’s not that I don’t believe in love or romance.  It’s just that I know I can live without it.  I maintain that I am actually a better partner to my husband because of this belief.  Sure, sometimes I feel sad because of things he does (like consistently failing to place his dirty socks in the hamper), but my overarching happiness is up to me.  If he ever gets a hankering to be with a younger, lovelier woman, it would be his loss.  Not mine.  I might be sad for a long time, but I know that eventually, because I knew who I was before I ever even met him, I know I would still have my self to cling to.  He does not have the power to make me a sad person.  Only I have that power.

I cringe for girls who have not come to this realisation.  Many don’t achieve it in high school, but find it later in college.  That’s okay—however long it takes, as long as they do find it.  Some never realise it at all, which is the very saddest case.  Sometimes I wish there was a way of speaking to all the girls in the world and just implanting this knowledge straight from my brain into theirs.

And that’s why, when Taylor Swift sings, “I’m only me when I’m with you,” I change the radio to another station.  Poor Kyle hates when I do that, but I don’t know what else to do.

She might be the downfall of our marriage.

Sad.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
This entry was posted in It's All Good, Married Life, oh brother what next, self-actualisation, watch out or I'll blog about you, what I'm about and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to Grounds for Divorce?

  1. Carmen says:

    Wow, I really am the first to comment? You must’ve just posted.
    Such a good post. When you first said you didn’t like Taylor Swift I was taken aback. I quite like her songs, the beat of them, the rhythm, but I have never listened the the lyrics that closely before and to be honest, I don’t hear them that often either. I am either listening to primary songs or kids songs in the car. Only when I drive by myself do I sometimes happen upon her songs and and I rarely turn on the radio when I am by myself because at this point I like the time to just think while I drive in silence. Anyways, like you needed to know all that, guess I was just explaining why I have heard her songs, but only a handful of times, only enough to get to like the beat and not the words yet.
    Wow, you hit it right on the nose. All girls should read this, take it to heart, before they leave high school. Such a great post. Hopefully many read this and pass it on.

  2. krystal says:

    you put words on paper/screen better then i can think of them in my head. i have thought this for so long and even about taylor swift but could never actually explain it. thanks for getting it out there, it needed to be heard!

  3. Holly Janeen says:

    very valid points.
    my husband (jokingly) says, “well I THINK that any one who makes women more dependent on men is of benefit to humanity, or at least to MEN.”
    oh my.
    i think this article is for him.

  4. Cristin says:

    Good points, but I still like Taylor Swift. You know who I don’t like, though? MICHAEL BUBLE. Hate his music. Yuck.

  5. Jeff Lowry says:

    1. I’ve been telling Kyle the many flaws of country “music” for years…to no avail either.

    2. I don’t know what a ‘bodonkadonk’ is exactly. But I know it’s a butt. And I know it’s available at drive-through fast food places.

  6. Kristen says:

    ummmm…I have to say I disagree with you. I see her songs as diary entries and she was a teenager when she wrote them and I consider myself to be a feminist but had some of those same feelings too. I believe her to be a very driven person and a hard worker. She knows who she is and that is why she just one four CMA awards just one week ago.

    Alright with all my blabbering out of the way I just want to say that this was a good post and you stated your opinion and the reasons for it very well.

    *sigh* I did not mean to sound like a hateful commentor, please do not take it as such. I still love your blog. We just can never listen to the same radio stations I guess : )

  7. Spencer DuShane says:

    You have some good points at the beginning, but you tear down your entire argument with the ending. You admit that you too experienced this sort of sentiment as a teenager. Taylor is seventeen and perhaps she hasn’t come to this realization yet. If this post is written ten years down the line and her lyrics are the same recycled teenbop at 27, then your argument holds up. But until then, Taylor Swift is just another teenager making music about what teenagers go through that should appeal to teenagers and sell lots of albums and tracks on iTunes. This still doesn’t excuse Kyle for liking teenbop country, though.

  8. Shirley says:

    This is kinda scary. We feel the same about Alias, country music, and Taylor Swift. I grew up on country, so it’s really sad to me that the majority of it is crap nowadays. I’ve pretty much given up on it.
    And that girl. Really? Mike torments me with her songs if they ever come on. shivers. What defamed her forever in my eyes (and Mike’s, thank goodness. not that he liked her before. just tormenting me) was watching her dance at the CMAs while staying at my grandparents’ house over General Conference weekend. I would have been laughing out loud if my cousins on the couch hadn’t been so in love with her.

    Although, I recently appreciated her in this video:

  9. Maureen says:

    Ahh, Taylor Swift. So much potential. Too bad her lyrics sound like something a twelve year old girl would doodle in her notebook during math class.

    I totally agree with figuring out who you are on your own without the influence of some boy. When I think about it, I am really glad it took me so long to get myself into a serious long term relationship. It helped me figure out who I was and what I wanted in life before there was someone else.

  10. Joel says:

    Amen. Her songs suck. Bad.

  11. Joel says:

    And Spencer: That’s all fine and good if teenagers were the ones listening to and buying this music, but they aren’t the only ones doing so. Many adults like to listen to this junk, and that is just reprehensible.

  12. jami says:

    well I can say that they play her on the radio ALL THE TIME> Seriously, can’t tell you how many times I have said the following…
    “Spencer, why the heck do they have to play taylor freaking swift ALL THE TIME?”
    Her songs are catchie for the first time…after that NO WAY! I do like her as a person…seriously, so pretty, and so sweet.
    But I feel the same way about TWILIGHT! ugg…seriously, I can’t stand that our sweet young girls are so obsessed with this book that CLEARLY makes it seems normal that this girl CAN”T be happy without a boy! Gross!

  13. great post. so true when i hear taylors songs i honestly think wow she must have met some real horrible men in her life to sing all these depressing songs at age 15!!!!

  14. Whitney says:

    I am alittle tired of Taylors swifts music playing over and over on the radio. Its good the first round but when I have to hear it every 10 songs… yeah its over.

  15. Shirley says:

    I want to know how I got such a cool picture for my comments.

  16. Kelly says:

    Taylor Swift…she seems like such a sweet, sweet girl, but you’re right, she’s feeding some young girls a load of crap. I tend to turn her off mainly because the radio stations around here play her way too often. I would rather listen to the Beatles or classic rock than listen to crap.

  17. Jenn says:

    Hold on Camille, I’mma let you finish . . .but Taylor Swift is not that bad :) Just teasing

  18. Tisha says:

    I’m not 100% sure where I stand on this issue. I 100% agree with you that girls need to learn to stand on their own two feet and identify themselves sans boy, but I also understand that most women don’t figure that out until well after high school. She’s so young, how can she be expected to know any different. Its like getting angry at a 1 year old for not being able to read or at a 30 year old for not understanding what geriatric patients are going though. You may empathize, but you don’t really know what it all about till you’re at that stage in your life. I did, however, think your argument was very eloquent and I completely agree with you about the junk local radio stations play. They really are quite useless.

  19. Ugh I don’t like her either. They play her COUNTRY MUSIC on radio stations that are not supposed to be playing country. I was complaining to Clint, and he kept saying she doesn’t sing country. But she totally does. And I’m pretty sure he thinks she is cute, which makes me not like her even more.

  20. Katie says:

    I have to break up with you now, Camille. Goodbye forever.

  21. A badonkadonk is a butt. FYI.
    Brad Paisley is WONDERFUL!!!
    Have you seen his music video for “Waitin’ on a Woman?”
    I have a feeling that you’d like it.
    This post really hit home with me.
    I’m not gonna argue or condone.
    Just contemplate.

  22. jeff says:

    i think he might have got his horrid taste for COUNTRY music when i would rock him to sleep in the rocking chair beside the big console stereo while grandpa played johny cash, charlie pride, (black man, btw), or possibly maybe even the statlers. there’s been many an influence in all our lives. it takes time to tell.

    but i do feel the name taylor swift is way tres fakey-ish. did someone say she’s 12?

    sorry, i skimmed the comments.

    MUSIC, ROCK ON!!

  23. What about the song “sixteen”? It has a good message…. I am not a big taylor swift fan, but I do like that song, filled with a message that says, Guys will eff you over if you let them. Be you, be strong in you, and dont let them trample your heart, dreams, etc…

    Anyway… as far as the lyrics you listed, i Hear where you are coming from…. so kudos to you, I don’t like whiney songs like that, encouraging the codependency of women which would continue to run rampant WITH or withOUT this kind of music…

    People do get drawn in when they hear a song they “relate” to… which is why so many people love her I guess…

    Back in the day, when I listened to country, back in the early 90’s, I was all about “Any Man of Mine” and songs of that nature… “That don’t impress me much”

    I would, however like to defend those meaningless songs with a good beat… they are fun to dance to. They are catchy… :P I like the Ting Tings… I think they sing the afore mentioned “thats not my name”…

    I think, there are a lot of people out there who just want a good beat to swing their bodies to… and I think that is what we can say for some of the newer poppy musics of today.

    I am impressed that you wrote this post however, knowing at least a few of your readers were big fans… and I think I am equally impressed with RatalieNose’s response…

    way to go anyway, these are definitely the types of posts which receive lots of comments… controversy *gasp!*

  24. Anonymous says:

    Well, as a die-hard modern-day country fan, I’m going to have to disagree with you. I still love Taylor Swift. I do agree, however, with your points about her lyrics. Then I was reading through the comments, and I might be more inclined to think that her songs are indeed sort or a diary entry for her, if you will. It’s too bad she can’t tag some sort of moral on at the end, or something. Molly was right; I agree about 16. At any rate, I’m not going to turn her off, but I will listen to the lyrics more carefully.

    Food for thought: Perhaps instead of changing the station you can listen to the songs in their entirety and pick apart more things about them. In my education courses my teachers always said kids need an example AS WELL AS a nonexample. Some people will soak in her lyrics and take them entirely to heart, and others, like you, will learn from them and decide that’s not what they want for themselves. Just a thought. I’ve learned plenty of things about what not to do by listening/observing others doing that same thing. I’m blabbering. I don’t know if I’m making sense. Sorry if I’m not…

  25. mameelynn says:

    hahaha… love it.. Whenever her songs come on my hubby says that he sees a girl that is cutting out the eyes of photos in the creepy way.. I don’t feel the same way… I think that she is cute and I can see that as young as she is that this is still how she sees the world. I agree that it would be nice if she was able to see that she doesn’t need a boy to complete her. I always hated the line in Jerry Maguire… the whole “you complete me” I mean who wants to be with a half person that isn’t complete on their own! I want to have two people in my relationship!

  26. Camberley says:

    I laughed so hard when I got down to the “meat” of this blog post. HILARIOUS! We have another thing in common, I too only listen to talk radio now.

    ~C

  27. I love controversy. It’s so… enjoyable. And passionate.

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  29. Crissie says:

    Even if I hadn’t met you, I would know from this post that you don’t have teen-age kids (or have forgotten what being a teen-ager was like). You may want to listen to the end of these songs you talk about, since like a story, it’s often the end that brings you full circle, and you see that the story teller has grown and has a bigger message than what you have tuned out in the beginning.
    I personally enjoy Taylor Swift’s music and the way she is a good role model to my young girls. She is innocence personified….exactly what a mom of young girls would want for her daughters. Keep in mind that she has written all her own music based on her life as a teen-ager. If I could hand pick the music that my girls listen to, this would be in the top running….think about all the musicians out there that are all about being sexual and how they send a big message to our youth by their videos that display women as sex objects and disregard youthful innocence in exchange for in-your-face imagery.
    Sad to know that you focus so much on the “boy crazy” part….but that’s what young girls are like.
    I missed the part where you tell us what your personal genre of music is. I’m sure that you might have some folks that would have some negative thoughts on your personal musical preference. Thank goodness there are so many different choices of music out there….and I must say that country music is one genre that in not afraid to give praise to our God and the good old American spirit.
    I would love to see this post re-done in some future date when you have pre-teens girls in your home….

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