I Don’t Like People.

I am on a rampage.

That’s right—I’m mad.  Spitting mad, if you want to know the truth [though the spitting part has more to do with the phlegm I always seem to wake up to every morning, and less to do with my actual anger, but anyway…].

Let the record show that in school, I DO NOT LIKE GROUP WORK. Specifically in English classes.  In my life, I have taken one geography class wherein I found a group project to be beneficial. Notice, if you will, that’s 22 years of life; I’ve taken a lot of classes, participated in hundreds of group projects, and could only come up with one that was actually worthwhile?  Pathetic.

I am a rock. Image from here.

Here’s my theory: Group work in school is often hailed as “a good way to get ready for the real world.”  I will agree with that, insofar as the specific course’s subject literally does utilise group-think in the “real world.”  For example, surgeons often request second opinions of colleagues and utilise a network of nurses in the operating room.  Surgeons should learn how to work in a group setting.  Or perhaps forensic specialists, who regularly put their heads together to solve crimes—they would benefit from experience with groups. Another person who might find group work helpful on a regular basis is a police officer, who may interact with hundreds of human beings during any given shift.

But English, people?  Writers? Writers [generally speaking—there are always exceptions] sit with a computer (or typewriter or quill) and…write.  They don’t talk.  They don’t cooperate.  They don’t address juries.  They don’t even have to be personable with their editor, so long as the job gets done.  Writers write. In solitude, usually: They write in the mountains, on benches, at Starbuck’s™, in caves.  They write alone, and that’s that.

So why the group work in an English 101 class?  I could have come up with a ballad in half the time that would’ve sounded twice as professional, had I been able to fly solo.  My professor is really nice, and I respect her very much…but I do not work well in group settings when I’m trying to write.

I am an island.  And not a tropical one, either.  I’m a dreary island.  I am Ellis Island—I am Alcatraz.  Image from here.

With group work, there are so many opinions to heed—and I don’t really like heeding opinions—leastwise, not when my writing is concerned.  To write a ballad in 40 minutes, with all those ideas floating around, and hurt feelings to consider, and syntax to mind, not to mention a fluid rhyme scheme and—oh yeah—a plot

…well, is it any wonder I got frustrated?  Of course then I became a laughingstock to the kid in my group who wore the backwards baseball cap and a pen tucked trendily behind his ear—you know the type.

“Relax,” he laughed, “why you stressin’, girl?”

Why I stressin’?  I’s stressin’ cuz this yo yo to the hip hop flip flop stuff actually matters to this beeyotch [me].  I’m stressing because I know I could crank out a fantastic four-stanza ballad in record time, and it would rhyme. It would be funny and light, and perhaps slightly cynical.  It would be perfect, if I could do it by myself.

In fact, I think I will…

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
This entry was posted in fiascos, I hate change, my edjumacation and me, oh brother what next, theories, watch out or I'll blog about you, what I'm about, woe is me and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

31 Responses to I Don’t Like People.

  1. Allison says:

    You’ve got the hip hop lingo mastered! Fun!

  2. Tisha says:

    So with you! Group projects in English class are like group projects in a sewing class (which by the by I have to do this semester.) I mean, really, what is everyone supposed to do, sew one seam each. Ridiculous!

  3. Geneva says:

    New pet peeve: when people try to be thug and they live no where near a ghetto. I have a couple kids who think they are “tuff” but really, Lindsay and Brown? Let’s take them on a field trip to inner city phoenix and see how cool they are.

  4. Joel says:

    I was never much for group work, either. Now I have the best of both worlds. I do my work independently, then the lab gets together and we bounce ideas off of each other as to what all the data means when combined. So our “group work” is very much needed.

  5. HeatherPride says:

    I love your tag on this one. I always hated group projects too. In fact, I had one grad school class and it involved a huge group project. You’ll note that was the only grad class I managed to take. Ugh.

    Just plow through it, girlfriend. You’ll be ok.

  6. Katie says:

    As an English major, I agree 100%. I usually ended up doing the work by myself and turning it in for the group just so it was up to my own standards. But then, I’m a loser like that.

    Beeyoch.

  7. Ditto on Geneva’s comment. Oh yeah, and you crack me up.

  8. whitney says:

    Im sorry but I pretty much laughed my way through that whole post. Its not funny. Im sorry. Dont agree with the group English work. Thats ridiculous but seriously I loved your Thug talk. I even read it to Zach and he thought you were awesome. Loved Geneva’s comment too. Shes right.

  9. Camille says:

    Allison– I practise my hip hop to the flip flop every day, yo.

    Tisha– I didn’t know you were taking classes! Where?

    Geneva– Seriously. At least in Mesa, on Lindsay and Brown, they kind of get the general idea. Up here? Nahsomuch.

    Jeol– I REST MY CASE. What are you, a biochemengineer? I thought so. It benefits you in real life, but I am CONVINCED it will never help me.

    HeatherPride– Thanks for the vote of confidence.

    Katie– And I totally TOTALLY would have done that, but these other people had opinions. Bleh.

    Emily Merkley– Hah! Thanks!

  10. Lauren says:

    Oh man. I how I hate the group work.

    Twins, again.

  11. Lauren says:

    I have no idea why I wrote “I how I”. Ewwww.

  12. Holly Decker says:

    your blog is like my milk and cookies.
    thats the best way to describe it.

    i seriously need nothing else but a good morning read of your blog and i am feeling like myself again.

    i seriously woke up way grumpy this morning… i dont even have a reason! and then i come home, plop down to your blog- and i find the most enjoyable things.

    agreed. group projects are lame.
    and a rock feels no pain. and an island never cries.
    i, myself, have lived 25 years and cannot think back to a group project that made me a better person. and that is coming from ME- i total social freak.

    anyways, just so you know- today (for some unknown grumpy reason- AT LEAST YOU HAVE A REASON) i don’t like people, either.

  13. bRAD says:

    I love your title. I read it and though, same here. I agree about the group work. It sucks. Nothing like a bunch of people to bring me down.

  14. lindsay says:

    beeyotch….
    hahahahaha that just made my day.

    but truly, group projects should be banned. especially because i always seem to end up being screwed and doing most of the work myself anyway while the slackers just sit back and get the good grade. nothing irks me more!

  15. anna says:

    Group work = not cool. I will never forget a group I worked with… well, I did everything. Then, my grade dropped a letter at the last second because my whole group gave me bad reviews. I was furious. I couldn’t understand how they were so upset that I was the reason we had a high grade on our group stuff. And the professor didn’t even care. Ewww, I’m getting mad all over again thinking about it and I’m pretty sure that was five or six years ago.

  16. EverybodyNose says:

    Yes, I laughed out loud at this post.
    Yes, I feel your pain.
    And yes your post made my day.

  17. Alexa Mae says:

    i never liked group work, unless you got to choose you group. and in that case, it would be more of a social oppurtunity than anything. but if group work is what you had to do to make me laugh hysterically at this post and the “hip hop boy” sobeit. you are AwEsOmE!

  18. anonymous says:

    hahaha do you think any of the ppl you write about would be offended if they stumbled upon your blog?

  19. anon10 says:

    I too Hate maybe even despise, group work. I know what I want to do it and I know how to do it right. So I should do it. (Even though I do sound kind of mean.)

    I feel your pain.

  20. People bug me too.

    Get out of my face, i think.
    At least on the bus.

    Groupwork..i’m indifferent.
    But then, i work alone.

    Loved the cave reference.
    Was hummin’ that light song all day.

    I want a special name, like bRAD.

    bCook?

  21. my dear sweet anonymous, offense is in the eye of the beholder.

  22. Simon, Garfunkel, that’s some sweet music. Thinky words.
    I’m glad Camille likes you. She’s good with the smart music.

  23. Carmen says:

    I wholeheartedly agree that group work is the worst. I have also hated it my entire 25 years of life as well.

  24. Maureen says:

    Hahaha. Oh man… Why you stressin’ — that’s classic. Group projects are ok if they’re not with a bunch of idiots. I remember one time in college I had to work with a group to make up a little summary/interpretation of the book Frankenstein and then one person in the group would go up and tell the class. None of them read the book (except me) and they ended up choosing the ditziest chick to give the talk and she was absolutely convinced that the book was exactly like the movie. I was just sitting there thinking, oh no, our group is going to look retarded because this girl can’t read. It was a painful experience. But funny to think about now. So, the moral of the story is, you will look back on this and laugh. Maybe.

    PS I found your blog on Katie’s(Marriage Confessions) when she was doing blog week, and now I love it!

    PPS I also like your rock picture, because I like rocks.

  25. Anonymous says:

    Millie,

    Keep us posted on what happens next…

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